Imagine… sinking into the couch to watch a movie, the kids are in bed, the house is dark and silent. A peace settles on your heart as you put your arm around your spouse. The screen in front of you sparks to life and as the music builds and the movie begins, you plunge your hand into the box of movie candy you’ve been telling the kids they couldn’t eat. You throw the chocolate into your mouth and bite down, savoring the… gooey fruity goodness inside?
At this point the record stops, the needle scratches, the movie flickers, and everything grinds to a screeching halt.
You lean over and say “Honey, I love you, but this was not the candy I’ve been looking for”.
Now you have a cold shoulder, to go along with the icky choco-fruit mushing around in your mouth and sticking, menacingly to your gums.
This is not the way things were supposed to go.
So why do “they” insist upon creating such a monstrosity?
I have no idea, but I do have something to say about it.
I love chocolate; Solid chocolate, dark chocolate, milk chocolate, white chocolate, mint chocolate, caramel chocolate, and even chocolate with peanuts inside it.
But one thing I cannot abide is fruit in chocolate.
It seems to me unnatural to combine two things that shouldn’t exist together.
There are exceptions, as there are to every rule. Chocolate on fresh strawberries, is an obvious exception, and it does indeed taste delicious. But sneaking dried fruit inside chocolate, is the sort of deceitful and despicable behavior I would expect from a dastardly fictional villain, with his mind set on destroying the world.
Chocolate is (when made correctly) a gift to the palate and a treat for the senses. We might just as well drizzle it over salad in an attempt to make it more healthy. Or we could infuse it with vitamin C capsules. Or, we could cover raisins in chocolate and pretend that we are not awful human beings. Oh, yeah, we already do this.
I understand that there are people who like dried fruit in their chocolate, but there are also people who think that Kraft singles qualify as cheese. I also understand that we live in a democracy and that people have the freedom to choose what they put into their own body, but don’t we have a moral obligation to those we love? If we truly care, then we should take care of them, love them, and make sure that they treat themselves with respect.
I love myself enough to know that I would never intentionally inflict this sort of confusing, toxic concoction upon my body. And I eat Pop-Tarts, so I’m not exactly picky. But I do have to draw a line when they start drying to put raisins in my chocolate – a big thick line, in permanent marker. It isn’t a neat line, because I scribbled over it several times, but you better believe it is a line I won’t cross, unless I see like a peanut M & M or something on the other side, in which case I would cross the line, and then I would come right back, immediately, with my M & M, checking my shoes carefully to ensure I didn’t accidentally step on a Raisinett (spelled wrong but I don’t care.)
Well, that’s it. Yeah, I know, you regret spending the time. Ah well. Go eat some M & M’s, you’ll feel better.
I know practically no one reads this, but for the one and a half people who may accidentally check this out – what do you think? Dried fruit in chocolate – Personal Choice or absolute moral calamity?